


What the hell would I be?

by Captain_Ameriyeah



Category: Avengers: Endgame - Fandom, Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: And by that I mean I changed the ending a little bit, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, I just made it stevebucky, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, One-Shot, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Pretty much everything before (SPOILER) cap getting old is the same, but it's mainly canon, low-key fix-it fic, that's pretty much it, very short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 00:43:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18728221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Ameriyeah/pseuds/Captain_Ameriyeah
Summary: Bucky wants Steve to stay.





	What the hell would I be?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> First off, I just wanted to say that if you're reading this, thank you! It's the first fic I've ever published after being an avid fic-reader for probably the last ten years of my life. So, again, thank you. 
> 
> Some background on this piece: I saw Endgame on Saturday and was devastated (in the best way, obviously). However, the one thing that got me was the idea that Steve would go back in time and leave Bucky behind in the present. While I think that Steve deserved his happy, restful ending, and he and Peggy are beautiful together (and that last scene was heart-wrenching), I don't think that he would've left Bucky (the guy he committed treason for twice) alone. So, I think this fits what I would've imagined a little bit closer. 
> 
> The title is from dodie's "Sick of Losing Soulmates," particularly the verse where she sings, "What the hell would I be, without you?/Brave face talk so lightly, hide the truth." You'll know what inspired it.
> 
> Special thanks to my Marvel-loving nerd friend Spiderboob, who hyped me up and helped me recover from my post-Endgame depression (or, at least, pull me out of the depths of it!)

            He knew.

            Bucky knew that Steve didn’t intend to come back after returning the stones to the past. It was deep in his eyes and written in the lines of his face – plain as day, if you only knew what you were looking at. And Bucky did. He could see how bone-tired Steve was. He needed a break. Some rest. He couldn’t get that in this present, surrounded by the Avengers and people to save and protect. He could find rest, a new life in the past.

            Bucky could also see that willingness in Steve’s eyes – he was waiting, watching for Bucky to ask him. Ask him to stay here, or ask if he could go with him. Either way, he knew Steve would say yes. But he couldn’t ask that of him. He couldn’t ask Steve to leave an entire potential life behind. He would never hurt him like that.

            But when Steve muttered, “I’ll miss you,” as they embraced, Bucky’s resolve selfishly cracked. He couldn’t live without Steve. The thought itself was overwhelming. Whenever he was away, Bucky felt like part of him was gone, like he couldn’t breathe. They were a part of each other. They always had been.

            So, instead of grinning and bearing it, like he had done his whole life, Bucky replied, “I’m with you to the end of the line.” They locked eyes, and Bucky prayed to whatever gods were listening that Steve understood what he was saying. He couldn’t outright ask him – he never could go against what Steve wanted, what was best for him – but he could try his damndest to get Steve to understand.

            Bucky begged him with his eyes. _Come back,_ he tried to say, _and I’ll tell you all of the things I never could before. Just come back._

            Steve held his gaze for a few seconds longer, before smiling and stepping back. “Don’t do anything stupid ‘til I get back.”

            Bucky felt like his heart was being split down the middle, but he managed a grin and replied, “How could I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

            For all that Bucky could read Steve, when he stepped onto that platform, stones and Mjolnir in hand, he had no idea what Steve would do next.

            He only had to wait five seconds to find out.

            Bucky could barely hear Bruce count over the pounding of his blood in his ears. His heart almost seemed to count the seconds itself, though.

            Five, heart-stopping seconds passed. The platform flickered for a moment, then stilled. His heart pounded ever harder. Bucky could hear Bruce frantically looking for a solution.

            Then. Then. The portal flickered to life, and there Steve was. Whole. In one piece. Mjolnir in one hand, stones absent from the other. In this lifetime.

            Just like Bucky had asked.

            Again, they locked eyes. Steve seemed to be searching for something in Bucky’s eyes, and while Bucky wasn’t totally sure he knew what that was, he thought that he had a pretty good idea. Somewhere in the background, Bucky knew Bruce and Sam were congratulating Steve. Bucky couldn’t have cared less. With their focus only on each other, it felt like they were the only people in the world.

            Steve dropped Mjolnir, and it made a resounding thud as it hit the solid metal of the platform. Bucky’s heart beat faster, so hard he was sure that it would beat right out of his chest. Steve stepped down, still wearing his white uniform, and took a stride towards Bucky.

            But Bucky wasn’t waiting this time. He was so, so tired of waiting. He threw himself forward, hoping and praying that he read the situation right, that Steve’s cues hadn’t changed over the past eighty years. Despite his nagging doubts, he had a strong suspicion they hadn’t.

            Throwing caution to the wind, Bucky finally met Steve, who, in the split seconds that Bucky saw his face before throwing his arms around him, seemed to have a small, smug grin on his face. Steve’s arms came up to embrace Bucky, and despite his best efforts, Bucky trembled slightly. “I wasn’t sure you would come back,” he whispered into Steve’s shoulder, taking a deep, shuddering breath.

            Squeezing Bucky a little tighter before releasing his grip, Steve pulled back and looked Bucky in the eyes a final time. Bucky would know that look anywhere – that pure devotion. It was the same look that confronted him in the Red Skull’s lair in the ‘40s; the one that followed him as he plummeted from a train in the Swiss Alps; the one that pulled him out of Hydra’s grip on the helicarrier; the one that watched him as he disintegrated in Wakanda.

            Steve’s next words solidified Bucky’s next actions. “I’m with you to the end of the line, remember?”

            A tear slipped down Bucky’s cheek as he smiled – finally smiled – and he leaned in, nice and slow. Steve made it easy, and leaned in to meet him in the middle for the most hard-won kiss in history.

* * *

 

            Bucky and Steve built a house on the same property that Pepper and Morgan lived on. Despite Steve’s need for peace and quiet, he didn’t want to be too far from anybody who might need help. They farmed basic crops, kept a few animals – Bucky had grown quite fond of the goats he kept back in Wakanda. They were happy. Content.

Steve retired from saving the world. On the same day he travelled to put the stones back in their rightful places in time, he gave up the shield to Sam. He had faith that Sam would do the right thing. He also knew that Carol would do a good job of leading the new Avengers; she was strong, confident, and capable. Everything they would need.

Bucky didn’t retire. He wasn’t quite done atoning for the crimes he had committed, even if he was frequently assured that it wasn’t really him. He became Sam’s part-time partner-in-crime, but it was infrequent enough that he spent most of his days in Steve’s arms in their new home.  

Their home became a halfway house of sorts. A place where anyone could rest between missions. Somewhere that everyone felt safe in. At least once a week, there was a wayward superhero of some kind dropping in, whether they be looking for a nice meal, a peaceful respite, or some advice. Oftentimes, there to join them was Morgan Stark, enjoying her father’s friend’s (family’s) endless patience for keeping her entertained.

Bucky and Steve were happy. They kept each other that way. They woke up to each other, spent the day with each other, and went to bed together.

And that was enough.


End file.
